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Nov. 20th, 2006

Inseperable

Need You By My Side

Although I'd rather not admit it, I have big self-esteem issues. I mean, it's actually starting to sink in that I need to change or I'm going to lose those closest to me. I figured out what needs to change but I'm unsure of how to go about it.

Things that need changed:
1) I need to stop putting myself in check. I am sick of worrying about whether or not what I say or do offends/pisses off anyone. 

(I'm a good person, I don't need to worry about that)

2) I also need to stop feeling worthless when I end up having an evening alone. I mean, not everyone can hang out with me all the time. I just need to give myself something to do on those days off.

(
This means buying arts and crafts, going through all the junk in my room and donating things I don't need to the Salvation army, buying books, and of course, renting movies)

3) Finally, I need to set a better budget. Let's see, I make about 250ish every two weeks. Means I make about 500 a month.
Also, I have a $150 car insurance payment and $100 in car payments each month. 
So,
 500
-250
250. I need to learn to stop buying clothes and other stuff I really don't need and start saving.

I also need to remember to spare about $50 for gas.


Well, after all that's said above. I'm actually pretty happy. Since I've realized this, my relationship with Matt is going alot smoother. Sure, there are bumps, but there are always bumps in relationships.

<3
Kay-kay

Nov. 1st, 2006

cold world

Need to vent, pass over if you don't want to read bitching

(in caps cause I'm lazy to interject my thoughts)

FIRST OF ALL, WHY DO I EVEN FUCKING BOTHER WITH SADIA?? SHE CALLED ME CLOSE MINDED BECAUSE I DON'T APPROVE OF HER POLYGAMY. IT'S NOT EVEN THAT, IT'S HER BOYFRIEND. EXCUSE ME BUT NO GIRL WOULD BE COMFORTABLE IF HER "BEST FRIENDS" BOYFRIEND SAID PUBLICLY THAT HE WANTS TO FUCK HER. YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN? BESIDES, HE'S 30 AND SHE'S 18. SHE KEEPS TELLING MY TO GIVE HIM A CHANCE BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, I'VE BEEN TOLD HE'S A CONTROL FREAK AND HE'S AN ASS TO PEOPLE WHO DON'T DO HIS BIDDING, FUCK THAT FUCK THAT FUCK THAT!!!!i BELIEVE THE ONLY REASON SHE'S WITH HIM IS BECAUSE HE GIVES HER THE MALE ATTENTION SHE LACKED IN HER CHILDHOOD AND HE MUST BE GOOD IN BED.

 She says she's happy but I have my doubts. If she were so happy, why would she need to be calling and talking to me? hmmmm!?!?!
She says she doesn't want our friendship ruined over her boyfriend but ya know what, he is  until she pulls her head out of her ass and realizes that all she's gonna end up with is heartbreak or pregnancy or disease or a combo, she can kiss my pasty white ass.


Other than that, life is peachy!


Ciao
Kayla
The pissed off, Kayla

Oct. 19th, 2006

Wolf Love

I'd Walk A Thousand Miles....

Alright, so not much to say on life but I feel I need to post anyways.

Matt and I are fine. Things are perfect for him but I think I've come to terms with the fact that we may not end up together but I will enjoy it while I can. I only feel this because A) He doesn't want to spend time with me daily (People keep bringing up, if you get married, what'll he do?) and B) he's soo hard to read sometimes. I mean, 98% of the time I know he loves me but that 2% doubt is driving me insane.

Anyways, thinking of getting my tounge pierced. Yay or nay??? -ponders on it-

Happy Days Y'all~

Kayla

Oct. 5th, 2006

paradise

You Think That We Connect

Ok, so apparently I might have to quit my job in order to come up to Ohio during Thanksgiving break. I looked at the schedule (for requesting days off) and it says "Absolutely No Requests Off - Sorry" on the schedule for the weekend I need off. No worries, I hate that job anyways because they work me waaaaay too much.

Other than that, life is rocking hard. Matt is mine, mine, mine. lol XD


<3~
Kay-kay

Oct. 1st, 2006

cold world

Rant

OMFG!? I AM SICK TO DEATH OF SOME MEN I KNOW.

LET'S JUST SAY I HAVE A FRIEND UP IN PHILLY WHO WANTS ME TO COME VISIT (I MET HIM DOWN HERE AND HE'S MOVING BACK). I TOLD HIM THAT I DIDN'T THINK MY BOYFRIEND WOULD APPRECIATE ME GOING TO PHILLY WITHOUT HIM ALSO BE THERE.

THEN HE SAYS "LISTEN, HAVE I EVER TRIED ANYTHING WITH YOU?"

SO I SAID "NO, BUT THERE IS THIS THING CALLED JEALOUSY. I MEAN, I KNOW I WOULDN'T WANT MATT GOING TO VISIT A FEMALE FRIEND IN ANOTHER STATE WITHOUT ME"

THEN HE GOES ON TO SAY WE DON'T TRUST EACHOTHER.

THAT'S BULLSHIT, I TRUST HIM, I JUST DON'T TRUST OTHER FEMALES. WTF!? I KNOW HOW WE ARE. WHEN WE WANT SOMEONE, WE'LL SCHEME FOR THEM, REGARDLESS OF THEIR STATUS.

FUCK, AM I BEING SELFISH/WRONG?

SCREW HIM, HE CAN GO TO PHILLY AND FUCK HIMSELF.

End of Rant

Sep. 27th, 2006

gravity

I Can Feel You Pull Me Down

Alrighty, Drama, Drama, Drama! Isn't that what life's all about? But why can it never be the good kind -pout-

First of All, For Any of you that ever question it, I am completely hetero. I DO NOT have interest in the female sex. I may say I think a girl is hott, sexy, smokin', ect. but this girly is strictly dickly.

But other than that, life is fantastic. I kinda wish Matt and I were a little happier though. It seems like any time I seem unpleased with something he asks me if I wanna break up. For those of you who know me well, you know that I'd easily break up with someone if I wanted too. My only concern is that I'm not making him happy. He's told me that I do but I just feel inadequate sometimes. Lol, silly Kay-Kay, don't worry about it, Matt loves you.

To be perfectly honest, I'm just scared. He's been my longest boyfriend and he's gotten himself deep within my heart that the thought of losing him tears me in two. I love him and I am happy with him, I just hope he feels the same. (He's said this but y'all know me... worry worry worry)

Later~
Kay-Kay

Sep. 26th, 2006

paradise

Switching Lanes, Talking on my cellphone

I GOT MY CAR BACK! I GOT MY CAR BACK! I GOT MY CAR BACK!

Sep. 21st, 2006

Wolf Love

Never Better

Well, things have straightened themselves out (once again!).

I'm sooo happy but I really need to let him know when he hurts my feelings. My problem is that I don't wanna be a pest and tell him "Look, are you being serious in saying you don't wanna see me or are you just needing a day or so break?" (That was merely an example, he and I are straightened out).

Still no car. Gahhh, I'm getting really irritated at Jiffy Lube and the mechanics. It's horrid that I have to wake up at like 7 every morning to get to school. Kayla doesn't wanna return to high school schedule. uuuuugh!

Btw, for those of you who don't know, President Bush is across the street from me right now. Lol! I'm over at HCC Dale Mabry's Campus and He's at the Raymond James Stadium. Let's just hope noone gets it into their idiotic minds to bomb him because kay-kay doesn't wanna die.


Well, kiddos, life is great so I'm gonna go.

<3~
Kay-kay

Sep. 15th, 2006

Wolf Love

Live in my house, I'll be your shelter

Well, I think it's time for an update.

WORK:

Well, it's better than Albertsons but I am definately thankful that I'm in college. I absolutely hate being dressing room girl but since Kayla is fast at putting things back on the shelves and tending to customers, she gets put there ALOT!

SCHOOL:

Rocks my freaking socks off! I <3 <3 <3 All of my classes. I mean, I even like my Algebra class. Scary, huh? It's amazing that I actually want to wake up and go to classes. I'm having choir withdrawals though, I need to get to a kareoke place soon or I'll freak.

RELATIONSHIP:

Wonderful, Simply Amazing! Since we've talked over a few things, life between us has just been smooth sailing. I adore Matt to death and hopefully will be his wife someday.

Only downside to life right now is...

CAR:

Took it to Jiffy Lube for an oil CHANGE and got an oil DRAIN! It blew a couple of my cylinders so I need a new engine. Now, she's in the shop and I've been carless for about 3 weeks. This blows.

But there's my update. Leave some comments. ;)

Aug. 7th, 2006

Inseperable

What makes you different, makes you beautiful

Guess who's gonna be Charlotte Russe's newest employee!?!? -dances up and down-

:) For those in the Tampa Area, stop by sometime and say "hullo"

<3

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